Preparing for surgery

Contrary to what any medical professional says, no cancer is a 'good' cancer. My neck was swollen, my nights were long and days short, and I could have an egg cooked with my body heat. I couldn't eat it though, because it would just add to my growing weight.

I had to prepare. Maybe this was the answer I was not looking for. Maybe things will be different after my Total Thyroidectomy.

Just thinking about surgeries had set more panic attacks to go off. What if I died under anaesthetic? What if I never got to publish my first book? Experience true love? What if I never got to drive my car again and enjoy my newly installed sound system? What if I couldn't follow my dreams of being a Literature Professor especially after performing well in my Honours and impressing a prestigious university that had wanted to take me on board? Was my life over?

For weeks my mind swam. When my body caught up, I decided that I had to prepare. These are some things I changed in my life, and they have contributed well:

ENTERTAINMENT
My room has been turned into a man cave. Everything is easily accessible, everything sits adjacent to my eye sight. You have to prepare yourself for a long stay indoors. That means anything you can get your hands on. I bought a PlayStation 4 to use as a media player. It's a blu-ray player, game-runner, app-enabler and more. I also got a free 3-month subscription to Stan. So that's pretty good. I have it hooked up to a television and a projector, for when my viewing mood fluctuates. I also invested in an electric reclining armchair, so that I could recline to whatever level I felt fit after my surgery. It has worked out to be a great investment, considering sleeping afterwards is a difficult thing. But I will talk about that later.

GARDENING
Having a total thyroidectomy would mean losing my mind as well as my mobility. Off to Bunnings I went. I went to the seed section, and bought varied seeds that I was interested in sowing. After a surgery, there is little you can do to entertain. So I thought, why not find a reason to walk around, to reduce stiffness and depression? Gardening is a viable option, particularly if you are having your surgery in the summertime. I had prepared many pots, filled with nurturing soil, and have, to this day. sustained a garden-full of many little delights. From a sunflower to a booming cucumber plant that has so far given me three large cucumbers, I have found that watering them brings me joy. I am now considering a career as an orchardist - not really, but honestly speaking, you should start a miniature garden. It helps with taking your mind off things.

IMMUNITY
Immunity is key to the healing process. During my Honours year, I didn't look after my health. I am not going to replicate that process of degradation. Three weeks prior to my surgery, I went on a 1,500 calorie diet with Lite N Easy. I lost 6 kilos - that was a plus! I also daily consume a little tub of plain greek yogurt with fresh cucumbers sliced into it, one yakult, and two chewable vitamin c tablets. The combination of these have kept my immunity up. Trust me, you do not want to cough or sneeze while having a slit throat. Wash your hands and face and brush your teeth regularly. You also need to shower daily - pre-op, I showered in the morning and before bed. And stay away from sick/unhygienic people or family members!

THINGS TO HAVE IN YOUR FRIDGE:

- Milk

- Custard

- Yogurt: flavoured and plain
- Butter: best friend after breathing tube
- Yakult
- Laxatives
- Cucumbers
- Watermelon - pre-cut
- Jelly!
- Rice - mix with plain yogurt after you heat it
- a nice, thick steak

THINGS TO HAVE IN YOUR PANTRY:

- Light plastic cup

- Bread with fibre

- mash potato mix

- soup sachets 

THINGS TO HAVE IN GENERAL:
- Pick up claw - necessary for when things have fallen! DON'T BEND OVER!
- Maternity/body pillow
- Firm/medium rectangular pillow
- Pillows - all shapes and sizes
- Tissues
- Bendy straws

- Strepsils/Butter menthol/Soothers/any throat lozenges

- Compression socks 

- Voltaren
- Sanitary wipes
- Menstrual pads
- Light towels

- Lazy glasses 

- Patience
- Supporting persons
- Peace and quiet
- Vitamin C chewable tablets
- Other vitamin supplements 

ADDITIONAL TIPS:
- Keep everything at arm's reach - nothing too high, nothing too low
- Keep clean! Brush your teeth daily, wash your face, wash around the wound area!
- If you live alone, prepare meals for the first week post-op
- If you have someone caring for you, when you are better, buy them some flowers or take them out to dinner - show them your gratitude!
- Keep on keeping on! Life will happen again!

The c-word

The first time I saw the thyroid specialist, I felt a little uneasy. My father drove me a little under two hours to Frankston. "You'll be okay. It's nothing."

I zoned out, fell asleep, and woke up. We sat in the waiting room, and were lead into my professor's room. "You'll need to have another biopsy, and more in-depth blood tests." I nodded. I could handle the first biopsy. so the second would be a breeze.

It wasn't! Having a biopsy performed on my thyroid was the most painful experience ever. I was glad it was done just after Christmas, so that I didn't have to suffer during the festivities that ensued.

They did not numb the site. The doctor told me to say anything if I felt pain. Let's just say that I spoke, then, during the entire procedure. I felt everything. The pumping of the needle made me wonder whether it was really fine or not. The entire week and a half after it, I found it difficult to speak or swallow. If my thyroid was fine, after the roughness of the biopsy it certainly no longer would have been.

Back at the professor's office, we were a little late. I ran down to see him as my father parked the car. "Where's your father? Maybe we should wait for him." I was sent back into the waiting room. My father came in, and I told him. "Shit." He said.

"You have thyroid cancer!" The professor beamed at me. It was Friday the 13th of January, 2017. I knew I should have asked for another date. He smiled, like it was nothing to be worried about. "It's the best cancer to have."

He handed me fliers about thyroid cancer.

Everything else he said from that moment on was a blur.

The receptionist, on my way out, had me fill in surgery forms. You know those forms that ask you if you're diabetic, injured, etc.? That section that says, 'cancer'? I had to tick that. It was the most troubling thing I have done in my life.

My father, who is an adept driver, lost the way back home. He said nothing to me. He stared at the road for two hours, and I stared out the left window.

The symptoms

In late 2014, as I was navigating through a stressful year of 'it is my third year in my Education degree and I don't want to do this anymore, so what do I do?', I found it uncomfortable to wear my satchel due to the bottom-left side of my neck. I took it as nothing major. I just thought that I had pulled a muscle or created some minor injury due to constantly wearing a heavy satchel. Little did I know that my love for books had opened up a nasty can of worms.

In late 2015, after transferring my credits to my Bachelor of Arts degree, I went to an ENT specialist to examine what was happening in my neck. After an ultrasound and a biopsy. Waiting for the biopsy results was frightening, because we all know the c-word linked to that. In fact, the biopsy itself was terrifying. Luckily, I had had the area numbed. As the biopsy needle went in and the doctor furiously pumped at my neck, all I could think about was how terrible it was having a sweaty man's armpit in my face. It was discovered that I had an enlarged lymph node. I was told that if it were to grow and give me any more discomfort, I would have to have it removed. I was relieved. He gave me a follow-up ultrasound request to do in August 2016, to monitor it.

I still thought nothing of my enlarged lymph node. I stopped wearing satchels, and bought a backpack. I thought that would end my problem, until I was unable to sleep on my left side properly. Swallowing, breathing, laying down, I felt it. It was annoying. It was 2016, and I had just started to tackle my Bachelor of Arts Honours year. I was super stressed. My insomnia was on overdrive, and my sleeping pattern was a mess. I would stay up until 5am to read and write, and sleep about 6am, only to wake at around 2pm the following day. I grew irritable. I would yell at my family members for next to no reason. I started to develop endema due to sitting most of the time, and gained so much weight from mindlessly and stressfully eating. On top of that, my sister has an immune disorder, so I spent most of my mornings rushing her to hospital, and read most of my research papers in the hospital waiting room. It was difficult being the family rock. But I had done it well for so long, I never thought it would contribute to my downfall.

The lymph node grew some more. I found it hard to breathe some nights and days, and I had asked my mother and sister to monitor me as I showered, for I felt as though I was going to pass out. I stopped wearing shirts, and chose instead to wear thin singlets and shorts. This was highly unlike me, for if you get me anywhere near a fridge or air conditioner, even in the summer, my body would respond with an endless stream of the 'number 2'. But I was different. I was overheated, overanxious, and over it. I attributed all of this to stress, and thought to leave my ultrasound to after October, after submitting my thesis.

Gaining weight, saying things that made Jesus put me on mute while I drove and being as hot as the Sahara Desert were all too much for me to handle, and finally, after letting my thesis go into the assessor's hands in late October, I decided to follow up on my medical journey.

I had the ultrasound done. Being on my back is a tough thing for me, considering I was hit by three cars when I was three  years old, and have sustained a traumatic injury to my back and right side of my body. I notified the doctor performing the ultrasound of this. "We won't be too long."

But we were. Instead of focussing on the left side of my neck, he started to move towards the middle. As he pressed, I couldn't breathe. "Any longer?" "No, no, almost done." But he wasn't. I was so uncomfortable. I didn't think to tell him to focus more on the left side, and I didn't think of what it meant that he wasn't.

After it was done, he looked up at me and smiled. "Haven't I done scans for you when you were younger?" I recognised him. He had. "Ah. I thought so." He smiled again and left the room. I found that strange.

A follow-up appointment did not have to be made for my ENT specialist. Instead, he called me. "The lymph node has grown. It's nothing to be concerned about, and I'm going to send you to my friend who is a thyroid specialist to make sure that your thyroid is okay."

Thyroid? I mean, yes, I have been overweight for most of my life. But I have always had blood tests to check on my thyroid? It has been ruled out from months ago? I even had a blood test done in May 2016 to double check? Where was all this coming from?

I went onto google and typed my symptoms in. My mum assured me that I have nothing to worry about. "There's some sort of infection your body is trying to fight! Maybe you need a root canal?"

But after multiple searches, I stumbled upon an American site that read: Thyroid Cancer.

I closed the browser, and went to bed.

Welcome

Hello.

I thought that I would create this blog to help anyone freshly diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer who is currently freaking out and frantically googling their way to answers. This is my journey, and my journey may help you.

Feel free to leave comments which open up discussions, as there are many people like you who have unique symptoms and experiences, who too seek answers. It's difficult string into a generic medical brochure that professionals tend to throw at you, and it is scary to sometimes not be able to find your experiences in them, considering they speak of general aspects of the disease. You begin to wonder, 'is this what I really have?'

Chances are, yes.

I hope that this blog brings your guidance, advice, answers and positivity.

Peace and love.